I’m a 58-year-old mom to my daughter Sarah, who’s 32 and just had her third baby. My husband, who’s 60, and I live about half an hour away from her family.
Last night, my daughter called me in tears. “Mom, please,” she cried, “I need to go to the hospital. Can you watch the kids?”
She was in pain after giving birth but with three little ones under five years old, I panicked and said no. A heavy silence filled the call. Then I suggested a last-minute idea: “Could you take the kids with you? Or maybe… ask a neighbor for help?”
Sarah’s voice shook with worry. “Mom, please,” she pleaded again, “I’m hurting so much and don’t know what to do! The kids are asleep; I can’t stand waking them up and dragging them to the ER.”
My frustration grew stronger. “Sarah,” I replied sharply, “you know your dad has back problems! He can’t be running after toddlers all night long! What about your husband?” She reminded me that he was out of town for work; her voice sounded tired as she said it.
My patience was running out fast. “Well that’s not our issue,” I shot back at her. “You decided to have three kids; now figure out how to handle them.”
A thick silence hung before Sarah spoke again softly.
“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” she said quietly; hurt clear in her voice. “I’ve never asked anything like this before.” “Oh come on don’t be so overdramatic,” I snapped back as my annoyance took over me again.”You’re an adult now! Deal with your own problems!”
Just then my husband overheard us and jumped in saying: ”For goodness sake let me talk to her,” reaching for the phone without waiting for me to respond.I was shocked.”Don’t even think about watching those kids!”I yelled.”Your back won’t make it!”
To my surprise he ignored what I’d said & talked calmly with Sarah instead.”Sweetheart don’t worry” he assured her.”I’m coming over right now.You get yourself ready for the hospital.”
Anger surged through me when he hung up.I confronted him immediately.”How could you do that?”I demanded angrily.”You know those kids are too much!”
He looked at me disappointedly.”How could you turn away our daughter when she needs us?”he asked sadly.”This isn’t like you.”
As he left towards Sarah’s place,I felt alone surrounded by anger & guilt swirling inside of me.The next morning brought news that Sarah had emergency surgery due complications after childbirth.She is recovering but won’t talk to me.My husband is upset too & even my son called expressing his disappointment.
Now I’m feeling crushed by what I’ve done.I’m filled with regret wondering if I’ve made a huge mistake.Was it wrong ofme?
