Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry.

She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!”

The next morning he got up early and left for work.

When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow.

The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking.

He calls the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety.

The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found.

So he drives the farmer’s Porsche back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper.

He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole.

The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.

The horse said, ‘I think I can stand over the hole!’

So he stretched over the width of the hole and said,

‘Grab for my thingy and pull yourself up.’ And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a Porsche to pick up chicks!