My daughter-in-law has two children from a previous marriage and one child with my son. She recently asked me to babysit, and I agreed to watch my grandson but mentioned I’d need to be paid to babysit her other two kids. She didn’t reply, but the next day, I discovered the locks on her house had been changed, and she told me I was no longer welcome because I treat her kids differently.

I tried to explain that it’s not about favoritism—I care about her children, too—but babysitting all three is overwhelming for me as a retired person. I felt it was fair to ask for compensation if I were to watch all of them. Now there’s tension in the family, and my son is caught in the middle.

I feel hurt and guilty for the strain this has caused but also believe my boundaries are reasonable. How can I address this situation without making things worse?

Sincerely,
Helen